The $700 collar wasn't that great. If I was going to buy an expensive collar, it would have either a) skulls, b) rhinestones, or c) Hello Kitty, and it would cost $20 max. I'd still feel horribly indulgent, and it would be completely pointless given how fluffy my cat is.

And, haha, my I metaquote your #4?

Please do! I live for internets celebrity.