Hey guys, I know this might be TMI, but I had an abortion just now, with my morning coffee. (I probably should have had it with a glass of water, but whatever.) I had one the day before, too, and the day before that. I've been having daily abortions for some time now.

Granted, scientifically speaking, I'm just preventing implantation*, not removing an existing fetus. But since when did anyone in the Bush administration pass health class in junior high? What, you want a government full of egghead smartipants, or do you want a government you can drink a beer with?

Anyway, good thing I live here, where I can have daily abortions, instead of in the States. Because I am a selfish feminist. I delight, each morning, in getting up, having a cup of coffee, taking my vitamins, petting the cats, and extinguishing the lives of precious, unique snowflakes.

EDIT: If you're American, tell 'em what you think.

* Not even that, because, well, condoms.