The Antisocial Socialist

Today was interesting. It started out with mana'eesh, coffee, and tea at Ayeda's place and the idea that we were going to have an Al-Awda contingent at the demo. Well, that worked out well. We got there and everyone ran into everyone else's friends and we pretty much scattered. There were Trot speeches, but who wants to pay attention to those? There was gossip to exchange and a sighting of what we suspected were National Bolsheviks -- these were quickly photographed for posterity and expunged from the demo.

And then it was on to the marching and chanting. You all might have gathered this by now, but I really hate demos. The only reason I show up at all is to see my friends and snark about how ridiculous everyone looks. I have to say, there were a lot more Dos than Don'ts this time around...at least when it came to fashion sense. The chants were as lame as ever. Someone started up a round of "What do we want? PEACE! When do we want it? NOW!" (Which sounded, by the way, like they were shouting for Peace Now...ugh.)



Chris and I responded with: "What do we want? CLASS WAR! When do we want it? NOW!" but none of these supposed Trots (or people carrying Trot signs) wanted to join in. Bah. Asad wanted to know what kind of chants I did like, and I responded that chanting made me feel like a bloody zombie and I'd much rather people sang or did something more creative.


What's with these guys? They get points for the big spray-painted kraft paper banner, but not for the sign that makes no sense whatsover.

So without further ado and with apologies to VICE Magazine, I present Protest Dos and Don'ts.
Disclaimer: Complete flippancy lies ahead. I'm glad these folks came out to an anti-war demo. That's no excuse for bad fashion, though. Apologies if any of these people are your friends.


Dos


When you go to a big demo, don't just pick up an IS sign. Make your own. That way, when CSIS comes to round up the IS, they won't look at the picture, see you carrying an IS sign, and assume you're a member. Also, you'll look far cooler.


Or, you know, you can just bring your ice-cream cart to the demo. That's a way to ensure that you're the most popular guy there.


Just so you know, you don't need to spend a lot of money to look good at a demo. Take Limp Fist, for example. I bet they didn't spend more than $5 on all that fabric, and they still managed to be some of the hottest people there. Pink and black is the new red and black.


The best accessory to bring to a demo is a small child. You're less likely to get arrested, and as a bonus, you can get them to make your signs for you. The child is obviously intelligent because he got to be creative with the fingerpaint while his dad does all the heavy lifting.


Too many people want to live fast and die young. Instead, why not grow up to be a kick-ass granny like this woman?


I don't get all goopy over "war resisters" like some people, but this is just too cute for words.



Don'ts


This guy is a reporter for NOW Magazine. When he writes his column on the demo, he's going to make it sound like he was at the front of the barricades throwing rocks at cops. Instead, he's standing at the sidelines taking pictures of the rest of you. He does this all the time. Also, I went to high school with him and now he won't acknowledge that he knows me.


"The Sixties were, like, so totally groovy. Like, peace and love, dude. Want a toke?"


zingerella and I were mulling over the symbol on this woman's placard. Is it a deformed Mercedes logo? No! It's a pie chart! I like pie as much as the next person, but I'm not sure what it has to do with ending the war.


I really hope this guy is actually a sectarian Marxist from a group we haven't heard of, but we think he's a National Bolshevik. Anyway, if he is just a sectarian, my advice to him is to announce that he split from CPC-ML or whatever and not just to show up with his new dumb-looking flag. It got ARA all a-twitter and no one wants that. And let's not even get into the problems with the rest of that outfit.

There's another, more serious entry coming. I started to write it here and then decided that it didn't belong in such a silly post. Let's just say that the day ended in a radically different way than it began. More later, I promise.