The Antisocial Socialist

I'm not having the greatest day and I have so much to do but also I have completely burnt out on being a responsible adult and I need a break, so I'm going to shitpost.

Confession time: I have never successfully finished the first Dune book. I'm sorry frandroid ! I tried! I will probably try again! On paper it sounds like everything I like but for some reason I bounced off of it. I did see the David Lynch adaptation and of course the Denis Villeneuve adaptation and for some reason I was Googling about it when I came across spoilers for the thing that happens later in the series.

Which is to say—and sorry to spoil a 43-year-old book for y'all—in Children of Dune, Leto II Atreides, son of Timothee Chalamet, realizes through his prophetic visions that the only way to stop all of humanity from dying is to fuse with a larval sandworm, and by God Emperor of Dune he is almost all sandworm except for his head and arms, and has been ruling for 3500 years. Obviously the idea of a giant sandworm guy with a tiny little human head and arms is the most hilarious and perfect thing ever and also I think he eats all the other sandworms??? maybe?? If I'm wrong about this don't correct me.

Listen if Villeneuve doesn't give me a giant sandworm with a tiny head and arms eating all the other sandworms what is even the point of adapting this series, I ask you?

Anyway being a visual sort of person I had to go look up how artists had portrayed this fellow over the years and I was not disappointed. I mostly stuck to actual covers but there were a few pieces of what might be fanart that I thought were cool so I left them in.

I tried to credit as much as I could but also I'm very tired and lazy, so if you happen to have more information, let me know and I'll edit it in.




15. 2008 Macmillan audiobook edition.



Bitch, this is a wolf. 0/10.

14. Ace edition, 2020.



Many cover artists for this book are craven cowards who will not put a giant sandworm with a little human head and arms on it, maybe because they don't have that level of talent.

13. Nel edition, 1984



This gets some points from me because it is actually a painting and artistically well done, however it subsequently loses these points for not putting a giant sandworm with a little human head and arms on it on the cover. And clearly the artist here does have the talent but chose not to.

12. Gollancz edition, 2021



More cowardice, merely hinting at the God Emperor's glorious form. I do like the glowing spice eyes, though. Actually when I looked closer I saw that there was a photo of sand with footsteps in it, which should possibly cause it to rank lower on the list than it would if this were just an illustration.

11. French edition, publisher and year unknown.



This gets a few points for making him stacked. Still, as you can see, he is not a giant sandworm.

10. Another French edition, publisher and year unknown.



You may assume that this one would rank lower, since it 1) doesn't have a sandworm-human hybrid, and 2) is practically unreadable. That said, it is the pinnacle of French existential dread in both typography and colour scheme, and the sandworm skin is supposed to be invulnerable so the scales kind of hint at that. Not gonna lie, I rank it this high because it pleases me.

09. Art by Joe Peterson.



Now, this is more like it! We got the worm body! We got the little human head and arms. This is pretty metal and good. It only loses points for two reasons: 1) if you look at the scale, Leto II is not that much bigger than a regular guy, but I think he should be much bigger, and 2) the guy on the right looks like he is just a stock Daz 3D model and I don't like it.

08. Art by Solomon Artist



I couldn't find out any information about this, so it might be fan art. Anyway, I like the scale on this, and the cool Egyptian headdress. This God Emperor looks mildly pleased to see me. He's waving! A friendly sandworm-human hybrid.

07. Art by Jacob Atienza.



Well, this whips. Pretty metal, has good flags and a look of steely determination. It's a pity that the scale is quite a bit off on this one. It's a bit Magic the Gathering for my tastes but that's the kind of work this guy does, and he's good at it.

06. Putnam Books hardback, 1981. Artist: Brad Holland.



This is the OG image that led to me Googling "wtf is going on in these later Dune books," and ranks highly for this reason alone. Also behold the wistful serenity on Leto II's face, the fact that everyone else seems to have shed their unnecessary human limbs in solidarity, and the overall nice, soft illustration style. His cowl neck is a bit 90s but when you're that big a sandworm no one is going to critique your fashion sense.

05. A Hebrew edition of the book, year unknown.



Honestly this should not rank as highly as it does because it's quite badly rendered, except that it's fucking hilarious. I had this up on my computer for a few days now so that when I logged in, it was the first thing that greeted me in the morning. It makes me smile. Who said you could have robot spider legs with human feet on them, Leto II? Who gave you permission?

04. Berkley Books edition, 1982.



Awwwww yeah now here's the good shit. Behold the existential despair as he flees from humanity, deeper into the desert, beneath the acid dream of psychedelic cloud cover. This cover slaps and would be #1 if there weren't three that I liked better than it.

03. Berkley's 1984 edition.



This isn't quite as artistically beautiful as the previous but it gets points for really leaning in to the inherently phallic nature of the concept. Magnificent is right! There's also an incongruous little palm tree on the right, meaning that maybe the artist has read the book instead of just going on vibes.

02. Another audiobook, this one read by Frank Herbert himself.



I don't know how accurate to the book this is but the art is really nice. Look at those textures. It captures the 70s bonkers vibe of the concept but still feels fresh and modern. This God Emperor is thicc and he's owning it.

And in #1....

Some guy on Reddit.



This is just really good! It somehow takes this concept and makes it not silly, which is a feat of artistic skill if you ask me. Shades of Modigliani in the features, and it gives the sense of great power that is only matched with great world-weariness. The little pop of blue spice provides some nice contrast from the otherwise analogous colour scheme and in general I just really like the flow of line.

Anyway, that is my ranking; let me know if you agree, disagree, or found even cooler ones that you'd like to discuss!